How Not To Write…
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From the latest Ansible, more examples of bad writing:
Sound Effects Dept (Again) `The Archivist tugged a handkerchief from her sleeve and blew her nose, noisily and at length. Moon could hear the snot rattling through her system like an old boiler filled with air.’ (Jonathan Barnes, The Somnambulist, 2007)
Dept of Wicked Winks and Unclad Fish `Her breasts winked at him, and he chastised himself as he felt a stir of arousal. […] He was sixty centimeters taller, but she wiggled like a lithe, naked eel until a final shrewd twist toppled him from the bed.’ (David Weber, Heirs of Empire, in Empire from the Ashes, 1993)
Far-Future Technological Prediction Dept (or, `As You Know, Bob’) `… composing on the keyboard, where erasure did not mean throwing away a piece of tangible paper that could fall into the wrong hands — and where he had an automatic copy of his exact words.’ (C.J. Cherryh, Deliverer, 2007)
Eyeballs in the Sky Dept `His eyes ran, literally, across the whole of the upper portion of his face …’ (Richard Marsh, The Beetle, 1897)