A Letter of Complaint…
Written by
Dear God,
I wish to put in a complaint and I understand that you are the right department. My complaint is simple – I have been given the wrong body! As You well know, I was due for some R&R (having had a couple of rather stressful lifetimes), so before this latest rebirth, I specifically put in an order for the body of a Sex Object – five foot ten, long legs, red hair, green eyes, 36-24-36, the usual features – oh, and female, naturally. But that is clearly NOT what I have been given.
Yes, it has worked perfectly well, up till now. Indeed, it has spent years being of sterling service as a housewife and mother. However, it is not what what I ordered. Additionally, this body, besides being the wrong body, is now steadily breaking down – it is no longer self-repairing. In fact, it is no longer fit for its purpose! However, it appears that the warranty period has expired – and I was never informed that it had only a fifty-year repair warranty!
I wish to inform you that if this complaint of mine is not properly addressed, and a fully working replacement body issued, then I will be going elsewhere for my next body!
Yours,