Wedding Report

Well, got back from my daughter’s wedding. The ceremony itself went OK, except that Daughter no 1 failed to turn up, having fallen out with everybody (yet again); we delayed everything for 15 minutes, but she didn’t show. But all the other kids were there and the grandchildren as well, and lots of friends. The bride was horrifically nervous – she’d collapsed sobbing an hour beforehand; but when her big moment came, she was wonderful. The groom, of course, was equally magnificent.
We’d not met the groom’s family before – they were nice, but some of them seemed to have not much dress sense – the outfits ranged from Sunday best to “It’s a clean sweatshirt, innit?”
The reception afterwards had been arranged by the groom’s family. Held in a local drinking club, with a bar, buffet and karioke/disco. I began to regret it as soon as I saw the DJ – a fat bald man dressed in Hawaiian shirt and shorts; he did not disappoint, blasting us at 500 decibels with the latest Britney-pap.
Most of the evening was taken up with karioke. The groom’s mother, a self-described “Karioke Queen” fancied herself as a singer, taking to the stage several times; the highlight of her performance was a rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody”. That left an impression with me
that far surpassed all the other performances of various pop numbers by her friends and relatives. For me, the pleasure of the night was the groom’s learning-disabled brother having a go at singing; he surprised me with his sweetly melodic tenor. But nobody asked him to sing again. Another highlight of the night was watching everybody dancing(?)
It wasn’t such a bad evening, really – just rather like being trapped in an episode of “Shameless”. (I’m pretty certain I spotted Paul Abbott lurking by the bar, taking notes.) The drink helped me to see the funny side.